How to Prepare for a Bris: A Complete Guide for Parents
8/31/20265 min read
How to Prepare for a Bris: A Complete Guide for Parents
Mazel tov! If you are expecting a baby boy and planning a Bris Milah, you may be wondering what you need to do to prepare.
The first few days with a newborn can be overwhelming. Between the birth, hospital, feeding, visitors, and very little sleep, the last thing you want is to be unsure about what needs to be done for the Bris.
The good news is that you do not have to figure it all out yourself. Your Mohel should guide you through the Bris preparation process and explain what you need to know before, during, and after the ceremony.
Here is a simple guide to preparing for a Bris Milah.
CHOOSE YOUR MOHEL
One of the first things to do when you know you are having a baby boy is to choose a Mohel.
Since a Bris traditionally takes place on the eighth day, there is not much time between the baby’s birth and the ceremony. It is therefore a good idea to speak with a Mohel before the baby is born.
When choosing a Mohel, you may want to ask about his training and experience, how he performs the Bris, what kind of aftercare he provides, and whether he is familiar with your family’s Jewish customs.
Just as importantly, choose someone you feel comfortable contacting with questions. A good relationship with your Mohel should continue after the Bris.
CONTACT YOUR MOHEL WHEN THE BABY IS BORN
Once your son is born, contact your Mohel as soon as possible.
Your Mohel will need information such as:
• The date of birth
• The exact time of birth
• The baby’s medical status
• Where the baby was born
The date and time of the Bris depend on the baby’s birth information and halachic considerations.
If there are any medical concerns about the baby, make sure your Mohel is aware of them. A Bris may need to be postponed if the baby is not medically ready.
Your Mohel can help you understand what information is needed and what happens next.
CONFIRM THE DATE, TIME, AND LOCATION
Once the baby’s birth information is known, confirm the Bris date and time with your Mohel.
A Bris can be held in a home, synagogue, or another appropriate location.
If you are having the Bris at home, prepare a comfortable, clean, well-lit area where the ceremony can take place. If it will be held in a synagogue or event venue, make sure the appropriate room is reserved and that the staff knows a Bris will be taking place.
Your Mohel can tell you what type of setup is needed.
PREPARE YOUR BRIS HONORS
A traditional Bris includes several kibudim (honors) that can be given to grandparents, relatives, and close friends.
Common Bris honors include:
• Kvatter and Kvatterin
• Kisei Shel Eliyahu – placing the baby on Elijah’s Chair
• Min HaKisei – taking the baby from the chair
• Sandek – holding the baby during the Bris
• Standing Sandek – holding the baby during the blessings
• Brachos – reciting the Bris blessings
• Krias HaShem – announcing the baby’s Hebrew name
If you have several people you would like to honor, prepare your list before the Bris.
If you are unsure who should receive each honor, your Mohel can help you organize the Bris kibudim according to your family’s customs.
CHOOSE THE BABY’S HEBREW NAME
The Bris is traditionally when a Jewish baby boy receives his Hebrew name.
If you have not yet chosen a name, this is something to discuss with your family and Rabbi before the Bris.
Naming customs can differ between Jewish communities. For example, traditional Ashkenazi and Sephardi naming customs are not always the same.
If you are unsure about your family’s naming tradition, speak with your Rabbi or Mohel.
FOLLOW YOUR MOHEL’S INSTRUCTIONS
Your Mohel will give you specific instructions for Bris preparation.
These may include instructions about feeding the baby before the ceremony, bathing, clothing, and other preparations.
Do not assume that instructions you find online apply to your particular Bris. Different Mohelim may have different procedures, and your own Mohel should tell you exactly what he wants you to do.
Before the Bris, make sure you know:
• When to feed the baby
• What the baby should wear
• Whether the baby should be bathed beforehand
• What you need to bring
• How the baby should be cared for immediately after the Bris
• How to contact your Mohel with questions
Knowing these details ahead of time can make the day much less stressful.
WHAT SHOULD YOU BRING TO A BRIS?
Your Mohel should give you specific instructions about what to bring.
It is generally a good idea to have plenty of diapers, wipes, and a change of clothes available for the baby.
If the Bris is being held away from home, bring everything your newborn may need for several hours.
Your Mohel may also ask you to have particular items available for the ceremony or aftercare, so make sure you follow his specific instructions.
WHAT SHOULD THE BABY WEAR TO A BRIS?
The baby should be dressed comfortably in clothing that allows the Mohel easy access for the Bris.
An outfit with many layers, complicated fasteners, or a tight waistband can make preparation more difficult.
You can certainly dress your baby nicely for the occasion while still choosing something practical.
If your Mohel has specific clothing instructions, follow those instructions.
PLAN THE CELEBRATION
A Bris is a mitzvah and a celebration, and many families have a Seudat Mitzvah, or festive meal, following the ceremony.
Depending on the size and location of your Bris, you may need to arrange:
• Food or catering
• Seating
• Kiddush cup and wine or grape juice
• Challah
• Kippot
• Drinks
• Decorations
• Photography, if desired
The celebration does not have to be elaborate. A small family Bris can be just as meaningful as a large event.
PREPARE OLDER SIBLINGS
If you have older children, it can be helpful to explain the Bris to them ahead of time.
They may be curious about what will happen to their new baby brother. Explain in an age-appropriate way that the Bris Milah is an important mitzvah and part of the Jewish covenant.
Older siblings can also be given an appropriate role in the celebration, which can help them feel included during an exciting but busy time for the family.
BRIS PREPARATION CHECKLIST
Before your son’s Bris, make sure you have:
• Chosen a Mohel
• Contacted your Mohel after the baby’s birth
• Confirmed the Bris date, time, and location
• Discussed any medical concerns with your Mohel
• Chosen the baby’s Hebrew name
• Prepared your Bris honors
• Followed your Mohel’s instructions
• Prepared the room or venue
• Arranged food and refreshments if needed
• Packed diapers, wipes, clothing, and other baby supplies
• Explained the Bris to older siblings if appropriate
• Made sure you know how to reach your Mohel after the ceremony
WHAT HAPPENS AFTER THE BRIS?
Your Mohel should explain the baby’s Bris aftercare before you leave.
Make sure you understand the instructions and know what to expect during the healing process. You should also know how to contact your Mohel if you have questions afterward.
Parents should never feel that they are on their own once the Bris is finished. Having a Mohel who is available to answer questions afterward can make the experience much more reassuring.
PLANNING A BRIS IN CONNECTICUT?
Preparing for a Bris does not have to be stressful.
As a Connecticut Mohel, I work with families to make the process as clear and comfortable as possible, from the initial conversation through the Bris and the days afterward.
Whether your family is Ashkenazi, Sephardi, or follows a combination of traditions, I am happy to discuss your family’s customs, help you plan the Bris honors, explain what to expect, and answer your questions about the ceremony.
I serve families throughout Connecticut, including New Haven and the surrounding areas.
If you are expecting a baby boy and planning a Bris Milah in Connecticut, contact Rabbi Zalman Goldblatt to discuss your upcoming Bris and reserve your date.
Rabbi Zalman Goldblatt – Connecticut Mohel
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